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fifty​/​50

by fffidget

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1.
Tearing down light posts past a tire's grass mold Brute laughter rises carelessly save for a soul Dancing on eggshells through a moral masquerade The heels still stab the floor, but the band no longer plays Oh devil, please devil Don't run from me today Cover my eyes and help my reason decay Oh devil, please devil Tell me what to say They're starting to catch on Don't make me see them walk away Speeding 3rd gear running on an empty tank It's easy to pay for bail if we rob the whole bank The consequences are null and void to the gods that we are The road won't stop, a circus top, hanging from iron bars You think I don't see the rusting tint in your eyes Mouths sewn shut with stitches holding heavy set sighs The guillotine still hangs by a fraying spine But stories smell like gold in the market of the tribe Oh devil, please devil Don't run from me today Cover my eyes and help my reason decay Oh devil, please devil Tell me what to say They're starting to move on Don't make me see them walk away
2.
Hail to the factory My eyes can only see The plastic happiness embeded By the steam powered philosophy Metallic voices clang From the pink plasma bolts Of the things I will have When I live in tomorrow I'm content where I am Safe from new thoughts Though I've heard a static stone Picks up nothing but moss And a path paved and travelled Will find nothing new And a story told by others Is a story without truth I wonder what I've overlooked A land covered in mist Leave the shackle of the forest Saw the shackles off my wrist Sensation Quiet as thunder Pages ripped asunder by the Running man Soles kicking the floor The wind gives out a roar As the chimes sing Everything's so different This coffee's got a taste There are birds outside Calling right behind the traffic and the waste This bullet ridden body Is healing from the rain Wicked tear drops crumble As they filter out the brain Oooohhh aaahh OOHh OAh oh Oha AAAh ohhooh oOhh Sensation Quiet as thunder Pages ripped asunder by the Running man Soles kicking the floor The wind gives out a roar As the chimes sing That same old song But it sounds nothing like it did Scratching crayons as a kid And I want to Feel the drum As I'm marching through the morgue As I stand atop the gorge Burn down the factory Blind eyes can only see
3.
Another tedious conversation Catch-22 social wreck Commitment threatening to pile up Responsibilities out of check This ship carries a worthless Overflowing capacity This dock can't hold another One sided trading piece What is loneliness to you Does it sound like a bell Does it feel like freedom Does it taste like independence Do those chains feel like warm hands Does that cage feel like a comfortable house That beach is made of quicksand Does that captor look like your spouse Pacifier pavillion So glorified Did you want to be something Or was that a lie Retreat Retreat Retreat into your home Retreat Retreat Retreat into your home Retreat Retreat Retreat into your home Retreat Retreat Retreat into your home
4.
I know I know I know That all your lies are just for show No one wants to see you dry Bothered makes a convincing disguise Hey Hey Hey Ho Hey Ay Heeey Aaaayyy I know I know I know That all your lies are just for show I know I know I know That all your lies are just for show Be the change they wanna see Roided hype performance Throttling hyperbole Indifference kept dormant Stances filtered chiropractor Made for majority study group Analysis reality TV master Slice of life is coming through I know I know I know I know
5.
Breathing like the living dead Another day is layed to wake But not across a bed (No time to) There's no time to rest or lobby Mind nor body To dream for something else Rejected credit cards With ceiling leaks and broken cars Money, to spend Will this well ever end I'm worn with being broken down I wanna try to see the sun that's hidden by the clouds Even if we know its a lie Let's say it's gonna be alright It's gonna be alright It's gonna be alriiiiiiiight It's gonna be So I was hit by a car while walking to Gatti's Pizza. The man got out of the car and said, "Boy those legs are more crooked than a praire dog's teeth. Where were you headed?" "Gatti's" i said "Boy that place is 10 miles the other way. Can I give you a ride?" "No." I had to take my pride into account. So i crawled like a half dead squirrel till I finally got to the window, when they said, "Sir, this Gatti's is drive through only. We cant serve you without a car" So I thought, "I guess I'll just die." Life's too short to live through it properly Denial saves lives with rose colored peripharies This world's too big to hold just one reality I wanna smile when I'm committing armed robbery Losing grip There's too much to hold on I wanna at least jump before I slip One last blind punch before I'm gone If you wanna survive Let's say it's gonna be alright Its gonna be alright Its gonna be alriiiiiiiight Let's say it's gonna be alright
6.
Stop talking to me Stop talking to me Stop talking to me
7.
It's time to go burn all the castles that fell To bury the fossils with no more to tell The script might say, to repeat the line But the night will not keep me awake this time Life on Mars Life on Mars It feels like I'm marching through the ocean again Dont wanna sink but I forgot how to swim The vultures have perched to wait to tear through the skin But I wasn't born a birdhouse and I have no food for them Life on Mars Life on Mars Hey yo Hey yo Nothing to see and there's nothing to show Hey yo Hey yo Nothing to see and there's nothing to show Life on Mars Life on Mars Life on Mars Life on Mars
8.
There's a horizon that's waiting for me (I can't stay) I'd rather rot than live in this cemetary This earth moves far too fast To keep a slow pace I left all my ships at Mass I left all my weight Was it lonely Knowing we'd never see us again If only I'd been a better friend Those ties have cut And I'm fallin loose I'll try to remember our time When I do Was it right So many mistakes are made Every single day Every decision leads to an end Why are all mine dead Is it self sabotage Unmotivated Does it happen at night Does it happen at night Does it happen at night Does it happen at night Hello amigo tell me how's your life I sure hope youre doing better than I am tonight Ever since I left it's been a mess Now im lost searching for some rest I don't remember why I came here I don't remember where I put my last beer I don't remember much of anything anymore So confident So innocent The mouse trap snapped So permanent So confident So innocent The mouse trap snapped So permanent I wish I could have stayed maybe than everything would turn out ok maybe i wouldnt have gotten into drugs maybe I wouldnt have given up I was destined for something great i know it why didnt it come i worked so hard i worked till my bones ached I only rested for a second but now Im 38 and I work at Whataburger to scrounge by on rent my mom still gives me money she cant retire what do i do all day who do i hang out with where did my aspirations go i cant move im trapped and i cant move Im just waiting to Die Was it lonely
9.
Hey buddy what's up what's the deal Have you got a girl to suit your appeal Don't give up we all know you're a catch Just be yourself no doubt you'll find a good match Say hey, say hey don't worry There's no reason no reason no hurry You got your whole life ahead of you And there's no doubt you'll make it well on through Cause I'm your wingman And you're my friend Cause I'm your wingman And you're my friend Hey buddy what's up how's it going Have you seen that new movie that's showing About the man in the iron suit There's no doubt that you would like it too Say hey now what's with the expression You know there's no need to do impressions It's okay to keep your mind to yourself But just call me if you need any help Cause I'm your wingman And you're my friend Cause I'm your wingman And you're my friend Cause I'm your wingman And you're my friend Cause I'm your wingman And you're my friend
10.
White Lies 04:42
White lies are always quicker Tools in the hands of dutiful sinners Default lines Autofill to say And yield signs Seemed to dissipate Convenient words can calm the bicker Even absurdist text can be fixers Dark skies Clear up right away And neck ties Tighten every day Like most other diseases it started off small and domesticated But it fed on ease and excuses and I grew inebriated There was something to do there was somewhere to be so to stay inside There's a dedicated section in my skull to keep track of the other lives Breaking down hot sweat I forgot forget Which one is mine Towers all fall down Stapeled cardboard crown Am I free or confined Blind cries can pull the trigger The binder is blown from its intricate slithers Dead weight No one wants a snake Cold blooded and lays On its words all fake

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released March 18, 2018

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fffidget Austin, Texas

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